Monday, September 28, 2009

The Plague of Disrespect

To disrespect someone literally means to violate them. It means to interfere with the normal, healthy and positive growth or actions of a person. While reflecting upon this topic a question came to mind: What would make a person want to violate or interfere with another’s development, either in the form of speech or action? What would move a person to harm another? I thought I would seek out two people I know that disrespect each other on a day to day basis, and ask them for their input. The two people are my children.

From time to time my daughter can be found watching The Discovery Channel. And from time to time my son can be found turning away from that channel while she’s watching it. I asked my son why he would turn the TV channel to a station other than the one his sister was watching first. He said simply “because I want to watch something else.” I said, “But you know your sister was watching the other channel first.” He began to explain that on another occasion, she had done the same to him and that he was doing it back to her. I asked my daughter if that was true and she went on to tell me that what he was watching at the time was just a cartoon, where she wanted to watch something educational, like the Discovery Channel. My son of course had a rebuttal, but what stood out is that each wanted something that they thought was more important. That what they wanted JUSTIFIED their interfering with what the other was doing. They placed a higher value on what they wanted.

I watch international news channels and see that same type of behavior displayed by adults who govern whole nations. Israeli lives are more valuable than Palestinian lives, therefore tear down their houses and take their land. White lives are more valuable than Black lives, therefore give them a subpar living experience through mis-education and gentrification. The list goes on. So is there any wonder that if the so-called leaders and the “civilized” of humanity would blatantly disrespect each other that individuals with less civilization would do the same?

In America our music is filled with disrespectful words laced over sweet melodic beats and proliferated to our youth for a profit. Our TV station are packed with filth and disrespectful storylines acted out by overpaid actors to the delight of eager souls searching to find answers to life’s problems. Disrespect in today’s world is the Order of the day.

So what is one to do in such an environment? First, each person that suffers the abuse of disrespect has to accept that what they are experiencing is not GOOD FOR THEM. They then have to make a commitment to address that disrespect at every opportunity. Not with negative retaliation but through deliberate, calmly thought out speech and action. The one disrespecting you may not even be aware that they are. If you respond out of a mindset of revenge then you may end up “disrespecting” them and in that process creating a never ending loop of disrespect that will proliferate to others.

I expect Children to disrespect each other, until being taught better. But as an adult there comes a time when we must all do away with childish things. I move that each adult take responsibility for how we respond to disrespect. Not by ignoring it but by engaging it to a positive end. If we do, we will proliferate respect exponentially and wipe the earth clean of this unnecessary plague.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Life and Passion of Michael Jackson

Whenever the terms life and passion are defined they are done so from the perspective of being enthusiastic about existing. Many talk about Michaels passion for music. A passion which enabled him to make chart breaking singles and albums effortlessly. But I feel that the music was just a vehicle for his true passion, bringing others to a state of joy and enthusiasm for life. Michael wanted us all to live mentally and spiritually in a Wonderland constantly in awe at the marvel of life. He wanted us to see the world through his eyes. A world without races, geographical boundaries, a world without war where people live according to their true nature and purpose.

Michael himself was one who strived to live according to his true human nature, but when you have people who are that close to being in alignment with their purpose, they at times, move in a realm beyond our ability to grasp; almost to the point of seeming awkward and weird.

We have a tendancy as fallable humans not in tune with our purpose to condemn that which we do not understand. And often Michael became the target of that condemnation. But through it all, he never stopped loving us. He never stopped bringing us happiness and joy through the music he created and he never stopped being enthused about the marvel of life.

I only hope that in his passing we will become more aware of the true magic of Michael. That we will use our intuitive Magnifying glass to zoom in on what made him so amazing and see a reflection of our spiritual selves in the mirror of the life of Michael Jackson.

What are THEY trippin’ off of?!

Ever had someone just come at you with a nasty attitude for no good reason at all? They get on your nerves so much that you start envisioning choking them or at least throwing something at them to knock some sense into their head.

The most effective way to deal with someone like that is to first TRY to understand that apparently something has happened in their life to make them go off the handle like that. More than likely something pretty dramatic occurred recently to put them in that mode. Should they take it out on you? No, of course not! But something dramatic has occurred (at least in their own mind) and they don’t even know why they are acting the way they are.

People in that state are looking for an answer to whatever the problem is. They are mentally trying to workout some level of understanding to the situation and anything you do to interrupt that process becomes extremely annoying. So they respond to you as though YOU ARE THE ONE TRYING TO KEEP THEM IN A STAT OF FRUSTRATION. You are acting, again in their mind, to prolong the drama they are dealing with.

With some people, you may remind them of the actual drama that they are dealing with through the clothes you are wearing, the music you’re listening to or some other activity that you are engaged in. You might be humming a song that reminds them of a person that just broke off a relationship with them. It could be your outwardly expression of happiness you are feeling in general. Whatever the case, at that moment, you in some way shape or form remind them of the cause of their stress.

So what do you do to deal with this slightly psychotic person, especially if they are in authority over you in some way?

Avoid them if at all possible. If not, whatever they ask you to do, do it as quickly and as efficiently as possible, as long as it doesn’t bring you harm.

Don’t try to be extra friendly nor question them as to why they are the way they are.

Do not to give them any reason or energy that might agitate or increase the frustration they are already feeling. They will only release that agitation on you even more. Give them nothing in the way emotion. Instead give them intellectual support only by responding to any questions they may have with straight answers.

Also, keep in mind you may have been that same type of person to someone else. This article could have just as well been called, “What are YOU trippin’ off of?” So try and feel for them while they’re in that situation and be patient. Like all storms, their emotional instability will pass as well.

Tony Stewart
"Stop Think and Be Without Doubt"

Saturday, June 6, 2009

When Self Help doesn't help...

Have you ever read a Self Help Book that didn't help? Have you ever read a Wealth or Get Rich book and you didn't make a dime from it? Is it that all these books are just bogus information written by persons only trying to help themselves get rich off of you? I've read so many that I decided to write one myself. But, I wanted to first know how it is that I or anyone could have read these wonderful books but not see the benefit we thought we would see. I wanted to write a book that would get at the root of the problem. So I read even more books, but this time my focus would be strictly on the mind.

From my studies it has become clear to me that NO SELF IMPROVEMENT SYSTEM WILL HAVE A LASTING EFFECT until you truly understand HOW the MIND WORKS and are able to put in play a process that will enable you to control your own thinking.

There is alot of negative information that gets embedded in your mind on a daily basis. This negative information originates from Television, Radio, conversations we have with others and our own experiences. This negative information gets saved to an internal Hard Drive (Sub-Conscious) that our Mind uses to deal with daily situations. When you have a problem, your Mind references all that you have internalized to put together a solution. If the majority of what you have internalized is bad then you will respond to the problem badly. For example: If you lost your job and are trying to decide what to do next, a thought may emerge to go apply for another. Simple! But then a counter thought emerges as well, "No one is hiring right now, you can't find a job." Where did that thought come from and why would it show up when you needed positive reinforcement?

That thought, more often than not, came from a news report on TV that stated statisics showing that companies are not hiring. It came from a close friend telling you about how many people were laid of at their job. It came from hearing over and over again that minorities get hired last. It came from seeing family members lose jobs, then homes and cars and it affecting you personally.

So you have two opposing thoughts being presented to you. Each has its own evidence that it's presenting to support its case. But one is calling on memories and emotional experiences while the other just may be using current information. Usually the emotionally recorded experience will trump the current worded information.

If we don't have an understanding of our own mental process, like the one described above, and a way to counter negativety that can arise from those processes, then no Self Help book or class will ever be sufficient. Sure you may have some lasting effects from a book, class or a lecture but true change will come only when you are able to knock down and/or counter thoughts that lead to behaviors which ultimately undermine your success.

Always be found in Joy in Yourself

Thursday, June 4, 2009

You may as well enjoy the ride!

I once saw a commercial while in Toulouse, France that showed a airplane about to crash. The passengers on board were screaming and yelling, oxygen masks were dropping down and people were tucking their heads between their legs preparing for the crash. As the camera is panning through the aircraft covering all of this, it gets to one passenger in the last row. The passenger, unlike anyone else on the plane, has their hands in the air screaming "hell yeah!" as though they were riding the greatest roller coaster ever. I don't remember what the commercial was about but I've never forgotten that scene.

While reflecting over what to include in this article, that commercial sums it up in a nustshell. There are things in life that no matter how positive you may view them, you will not be able to change the eventual outcome. If you ever find yourself in that situation do this: Enjoy the moment! No matter how crazy that may seem, enjoy each and every moment leading up to that event over which you have no control.

Some have said it like this, "Live every day as though it was your last." If tomorrow was really and truly your last day on earth what would you do? Would you sit around and cry or try to enjoy every last bit of this life that you could? We should view every negative situation like this WHILE MOVING TO CHANGE THE OUTCOME. For example, lets say that you are about to lose your home, have your car repossed or your electric and gas cut off. To even think straight about your next steps you MUST BE IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND! You cannot allow yourself to panic.

So to keep panic from occuring in dramatic situations I want you to start right now, enjoying each moment of your life in the most suttle fashion.

I want you to be aware of the feel of the chair you're sitting in, the coolness of a glass of water as you pick it up. I want you to notice different scents or frangrances in the air, and or wear your favorite cologne or perfume daily. I want you to be aware and on the lookout for things in each moment that bring you pleasure. And, I want you to consciously think "what could I be doing at this moment to enjoy myself."

Why so much on enjoyment? Because it clears the mind so that you can focus. How does it clear the mind? By shutting it down. When you are in the thrill of enjoyment, in the NOW, there are no thoughts about the past or the future and what may occur in them. Trust me, your mind won't permanently shut down, but thorugh the feeling of enjoyment your mind will suspend its venture into a possible negative outcome. And, through this suspension of thought, give your mind time to reboot. Time to look at and assess the situation differently. Then maybe, just maybe, what appears to be the eventual outcome may not come out that way at all.

Always be found in Joy in Yourself

Tony Stewart
"Shift: Stop, Think and Be without doubt"

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Stop Mental Time Travel and Be in the Now - Part I

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of the book "Shift: Stop, Think and Be without doubt"

Stop! Stop IMAGINING THE WORST CASE SCENARIO AND REACTING TO IT AS IF IT’S REAL. Stop mentally time traveling to the future or past event where the worst outcome is played out. Stop running down the street of negative thinking, daydreaming about a crazy outcome.

While sitting around frustrated one day, a friend of mine called and asked me how I was doing. I replied with a slug­gish, “I’m cool”. Noticing that I was not in a good mood, he said, “I’m on my way, we are about to go listen to some Jazz at the park, check out the beautiful ladies and relax. That of course made me feel a little better but by the time he arrived, I was fully back in the mode I was in before, frustrated.
As we were driving to the Park he asked me what the frus­tration was about and as I began explaining, he suddenly said, “STOP!” A little startled, I turned and looked at him waiting for him to say what was on his mind and he just sat there. I asked him what was up and he said, “YOU WERE TIME TRAVELING, AND I NEEDED TO BRING YOU BACK HERE.” I asked him what he meant and why the pause in telling me that. He said, “You needed time to PAUSE. You needed to spend a little time without any thoughts in your head at all.”

He went on to say, “Right now, you’re in what I think is a relatively nice car, its clean, the air conditioner is on, we got great music on the radio and we are headed to a park full of fine women and music, BUT YOU ARE FRUSTRATED?! That means you were not really here. Your mind was some­where else! You were somewhere other than right NOW.”

He was right. I was thinking about the next day and a certain bill that I had to pay and didn’t have the money on me to pay it. I was thinking about the repercussions of not having the money and what would possibly happen if I were to lose that particular thing because I couldn’t pay the bill. I was thinking about what others would say about me and how I would look to them and my family. I WAS NOT THERE IN THE PRES­ENT.

I was imagining the worst case scenario and outwardly through my posture, look and how I physically felt, reacting to it as if it were real. Mentally I was not in the car with him. I was in an imagined tomorrow living out a nightmare.

But I was also doing something else! I was ATTRACTING THAT WORST CASE SCENARIO INTO REALITY. I was willing the universe to make it actually come true! In other words, I was praying to God that it actually happens.

How was I doing this? By activating a universal law, The Law of Attraction. This law states that whatever you con­sistently put your combined imagination and emotional feeling on it WILL manifest in your life. Another friend once said to me that “Worry is nothing but a prayer for the negative outcome.” Why, because “worry” is another form of combined thought and emotion, but toward a NEGATIVE end.

to be continued...

Tony Stewart
"Shift: Stop Think and Be without doubt"

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

How Not to Rob Peter to Pay Paul

A friend of mine asked me the other day, "How do I NOT borrow from tomorrow to take care of today?" My mind began to come up with several techniques one could use to better handle their finances. I started to think of techniques ranging from:

1. The envelop method in which you take several envelopes and write the name of each expense on an individual envelop. Then as monies come in from your job or business you place the percentage that expense requires, from the total brought in that day/week, into that envelop.

2. The 20% method in which 20% of EVERY dollar you make goes into a Personal or Family Development Fund. That fund is broken down into sub-categories: Emergency, Investments, Entertainment, etc..., that you split that 20% amongst. Of course you may find that the other 80% is not enough to cover your current lifestyle, but it just means you'll need to make a SHIFT in your lifestyle to accomodate the new system.

3. Creating another business that brings in extra income. Though tedious and strict attention must be paid to the business systems, it can be quite lucrative. For example, something simple like a business turning old Photo Albums into digital photos. Thats a business you can start with a $300 computer and a $80 4-in-1 printer/scanner. Charge people $5.00 per photo or less if its a whole book, say $300 for the whole album. It may take some time to do and become proficient at, but thats $300 extra in a week easy with maybe 3 days work at 3 hrs. a day.

4. Cut back a little with every purchase that is not a bill and place that money into a "Do Not Rob Peter to Pay Paul" envelop. When you buy food at the grocery store just get one item less and remember to place that money into that envelop. When you are out for entertianment, just do one thing less. Instead of the $15 steak get the $11 spaghetti. Then remember to place that extra $4 in that envelop.

All of the above sound good and are good, but being a firm believer that everything BEGINS WITH YOUR THINKING, I decided to write this article from the perspective of the Mental SHIFT that's required for any of the above to happen. I'll be brief since I've already taken up enough time with the above.

To stay consistent at any of the above you have to SHIFT your thinking. You have to STOP, take sometime out and THINK in detail about the person you really desire and need to BE. Then from that moment on act, with no doubt, as though you are that person. Part of it envolves you repeating to yourself, "I DON'T ROB PETER TO PAY PAUL. THAT'S NOT ONE OF MY PROBLEMS". Say it all day (to yourself) for the next 2 days and you'll find that you won't have to say it any longer. It'll popup in your mind the minute the thought of robbing Peter comes up.

The above strikes a balance between mental discipline and techniques. The more mental discipline you have, the less techniques or systems you'll need to be successful. If you find that mental discipline is just not and will not be your cup of tea, then you'll need to implement several techniques and systems to ensure your success. Either way, there is always a solution.

Now stop being afraid of Paul and leave Peter alone.

Always be found in Joy in Yourself.

Tony Stewart
"Shift: Stop, Think and Be without doubt"

Monday, June 1, 2009

Moving Through Fear

Fear: A False Expectation Appearing Real, an illusion or a trick of the Mind

Most people DON'T do what they love or strive for what they truly want in life. Why? Fear of failure or some other fear. So how do we remove that fear so we can move foward? Well you have a couple of options:

1.) Just do it! Just drop everything and move out. This is an option because as a friend of mine Leisha Reeves states, "There will never be a 'right time' to go for your dreams". So you may as well get started now. Also there is something almost magical that happens when you "Just Do it". Most of the time you'll find that the fear you had wasn't worth all the energy you gave it. You'll gain confidence in challenging other fears you have which makes you a more confident person overall. Lastly you won't have to drag around the guilt of never having made the attempt to reach your dreams. A guilt that you'll eventually blame others for.

2.) Change your view of FEAR. I consciously choose to view Fear as a signal that I'm on the right path. That nervousness I feel when approaching a challenge now brings a smile to my face because I know at this moment I am about to become a greater person and come even closer to achieving my dreams. My mind isn't even focused on the challenge as a whole. It's literally on " just put one foot in front of the other," putting one action in front of the other until I have crossed the threshold of the challenge. Think in terms of steps. Focus all the energy of your mind, body and soul into each step. Soon you'll find that you've walked right through that fear.

The above are two options that can be applied in ANY situation where fear is present. Work, relationships or starting a business all require you to have courage and be bold in your approach. You have to be motivated in being you! And, in being motivated you have to not just say it but live it by moving out on inspiration IMMEDIATELY. MOVE in the form of steps. Research those steps. Find the best answers you can get your hands on from those who have succeeded in what you're trying to accomplish. Study and apply them at the same time and you'll find that you'll have less of a challenge in overcoming your fears.

Always be found IN JOY in YOURSELF

Tony Stewart
"Stop, Think and Be without doubt"

Friday, May 29, 2009

Who are YOU?

Have you ever heard yourself say, or someone else say, "I hate when I do that!"? Who is the "I" that is doing the hating? Who is the "I" that is doing the thing which the first "I" hates? And, more importantly, which one are YOU at any given moment? Who are YOU?

Now according to the statement "I hate when I do that" you could be charged with having multiple personalities. In a sense we do. There is a part of us that is based completely on responding to whatever thoughts we have at that time. If you are experiencing and acting out thoughts that deal with business then you exude a business personality. When you are experiencing thoughts of playfulness, people call you "playful". You are what you think and that's fine as long as YOU control what YOU think!

There is a part of you that observes your thoughts and chooses which ones to carry out. YOU are that observer. YOU can control your thoughts by identifying with the observer. The quickest way to do that is by being CONSCIOUSLY on the lookout for thoughts.

Right now, take a moment and wait for your next thought.... Don't try to "make up" something to think about, I want you to sit and mentally wait for the next thought.........

If your mind went blank that's ok. Thats a good thing! Your mind can't engage just any old thought with you being AWARE. You literally have to be asleep to the activity of your mind. If you keep experiencing sadness its because you are thinking sad thoughts. If you want to stop that thought become AWARE of YOU as the observer. Then wait for the next thought. Once you create that blank space in your mind you can now create a thought of your own choosing. A thought that makes you feel good.

More on this is in "Shift: Stop, Think and Be without doubt"

Till next time, always be found In Joy in Yourself.

Tony Stewart
"Stop Think and Be without doubt"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Imagine the Best Case Outcome

Too many times I have either said or heard someone else say, "I knew that something bad was going to happen". How did they or I know that? Because we imagined the worst case outcome over and over and set the stage for it to act itself out. Someone on your job spreads a rumor that layoffs are coming that week and most everyone starts imagining it's them self that’s about to be laid off. Many of us try to think positive, but the images of unemployed life (losing your home, car or other possession and the embarrassment) acquired from stories of others and television overcome our Positive Thinking and we succumb to imagining the worst case outcome.

So what can we do? First start becoming aware of when you do the above? Consistently ask yourself, "How Do I feel right now"? Give yourself a quick checkup emotionally and physically. If you are nervous, stressed, or feeling physical pains, ask yourself what those negative feelings or pains could be attributed to. Think about what thoughts have been running through your mind lately. You just may be imagining worst case scenarios. If that’s the case, immediately STOP and start imagining the BEST possible scenarios and outcomes.

Imagine the best case outcome in detail. Envision a promotion or imagine a party with all your friends. Imagine in detail, people smiling and laughing and you having the best time of your life. Imagine you receving money unexpectedly and spending it on something that brings you joy. Take your mind there and your stress and pain will leave. The mind cannot entertain both happiness and anger at the same time, so fill it with what you desire to FEEL.

You have by nature, the ability to choose your thoughts at all times. Use this ability to help you take control of your life by thinking or imagining in detail the best case outcomes and experiences.

Tony Stewart
"Stop Think and Be without doubt"